Interview with kinkster Marcbound
“No shame, no judgement, no regrets”
Published on 17 July 2020
Hello Marc, some who are reading this interview probably know your pics from Instagram. They are showing tight bondage in different situations. Can you describe how you feel, when you lie or stand there tightly bound?
When I live out my fetishes, I feel empowered in the sense that I am sexually expressing myself and doing something that I like, with someone that enjoys it too and that we can both obtain a positive experience out of it. No shame, no judgement, no regrets.
What does the term “Fetish” mean to you?
To me personally, it’s more of an abstract concept, it’s about having some erotic taste, that is not necessarily the norm (though then we might open the debate on what exactly does the “norm” mean, but we won’t go there now). Fetish as well, for me, is another way of finding people that like the same things I do. I believe the word fetish has a community aspect implicit in it, that allows you to explore, share and enjoy whatever “thing” you have a fetish for.
How is your fetish connected to your sexuality?
Ever since I started being sexually active, I have focused more on my kinky/fetish side than my vanilla one. I wanted to really have kinky experiences so I always gave priority to that for a very long time, more so because vanilla sex kind of did not appeal to me, I saw it as a boring thing to do that would not really provide me with anything. This has changed in the past few years though, I “opened” the door to having more vanilla encounters, which I have enjoyed and try to maintain as well from time to time.
Which personal fetishes do you have?
My list of fetishes revolves mostly around bondage, that being my main one. I love being tied up, immobilised – basically losing control over my body and fully submitting to the Dom; it’s about being powerless in front of the other. Then, there’s a long list of things I enjoy being done when in bondage: edging (who doesn’t really), nipple play, breath control, poppers (not so sure that would be considered a fetish), electro, mummification, some cock and ball torture, etc. And the use of gear is highly appreciated, the more, the tighter and heavier, the better: hoods, gags, straitjackets, sleepsacks, parachute, nipple clamps, milking machine, head immobiliser, the list is endless and the possibilities are so many.
Can you describe situations, and how you felt in them, when you discovered your fetish for the first time?
In my mind I have a couple turning points that made me realise I had some different tastes than most people. The first was at the end of primary school: I remember so vividly how a friend and I would play during lunch time to tie each other up with our school robes. We probably were 10-11 years old, and we would even agree on who was to be tied up (and therefore, the sub) and who would be doing the tying up (the Dom). It amazes me really how little kids’ minds work without having had previous contact with any fetish. Fun fact: the other boy turned out to be straight, which looking back at it gives the whole thing an added allure.
The second moment was years later, while browsing the internet (porn of course). I came across the “Bondage Jeopardy” site. I really enjoyed checking that blog out, it allowed me, a 15-year-old boy, to see something that I was interested in, to dream about having things done to me and showed me that it wasn’t weird, because if it was online and there was a blog dedicated to it, it had to be something that other people would enjoy as well. After that site, I also discovered MrKristofer’s blog, which provided an infinity of resources to explore online, one of them being the BoundGods website which was the most impressive thing for a young kinky gay in his late teen years.
For some people, when these two dimensions – being homosexual and being a fetishist/BDSM-lover – are coming together, they intensify conflicts. So does being gay complicated your early life even more?
I wouldn’t say that no. Obviously I struggled with it at first and suffered some bullying from some classmates/school kids but oh well, you get over it and have to grow thick skin, otherwise you’re pretty lost. And in some way, being gay made me feel good in the sense that I was somewhat “special” (I know we’re not), but like the thought of knowing that I was not like the others. In some way I liked that different factor, because growing up I barely knew other gay kids, let alone spoke a word about it until late as a teen.
Can you decribe your further kinky development?
I’ve always kept this side of me pretty hidden from my “vanilla” life. Only a handful of friends know about it, other than my kinky friends, and I’m pretty okay with that.
The first contact I had with the possibility of experiencing my fetishes was when I joined Recon in December 2014 at 19 years old. I remember it took me probably more than a year to mentally prepare myself and agree to have my first session – I needed to really trust the guy because I was putting myself literally in their hands, and for a young gay man coming to terms with his fetishes it was a pretty big deal. Once I did have my first sessions, despite really enjoying myself and the feeling I felt while I was bound, pretty much every time afterwards a wave of self-disgust, dirt, and shame came over me. And even if I was okay with myself experimenting all of that, I couldn’t help but have those thoughts come into my mind. But I wasn’t going to let that get in the way of me having fun, and over time, years really, I worked to have those feelings controlled. Now they barely show up anymore.
It’s fair to say that I’m in a really good place with myself where I don’t feel any shame on having all these fetishes and submitting to other men. I’ve come to accept it and realise that it is not worth it to suppress that side of me, because it would have a negative effect on everything else that I did and I would not feel complete as a person, simple as that.
I think this happens to many people, and it’s strange: the highest feelings of happiness can come together with the darkest emotion of unworthiness. How have you dealed with those feelings when they came up?
I think it was basically me thinking it through by myself, and definitely helped chatting to other gay guys online/hook up apps, in a way it made the whole “having sex and experiencing kink” okay by seeing that there were, and are, so many gay people everywhere. And just taking it a step at a time, we’ve all started somewhere in kink, and let things fall into place. Just know deep down that it is really okay and there is nothing wrong with it. Maybe for others discussing it with friends or other gays works/has worked, just in my experience I’ve preferred and managed to do it on my own. But definitely open up to others if needed, you’d be surprised how nice most people are in this community.
Some of my favourite kinky noises are “Hmmmpf” (being gagged) or someone pulling tape off a role. 😉 What’s your favourite kinky sound?
I think I have a couple. First one that comes to mind is a rebreather that uses a bottle with water (or some other liquid), which makes noise every time the sub breathes, as the air you are going to breath has to go through the bottle straw (or hole), through the water/liquid, thus creating bubbles, and then through the hose that is attached to your gasmask/hood/breathing device. I’ve experienced it sometimes and the sound of that, I don’t even need to be touched, makes me really hard. Another one would probably be the noise of a magic wand. Makes it very obvious what is going on, but also makes you sure that it is a machine and that it is not stopping unless the Dom wants it to, and also the different intensities (and then volumes) of it make it even better.
When you think back, can you please describe one of your hottest experiences concerning fetish you had so far?
A couple years ago when I was living and getting a master’s degree in London, I was fortunate enough to meet LondonRopeTop a bunch of times. Besides enjoying everything he put me under, I especially cherish the several times he mummified me. Being mummified is quite high on my fetish list due to the complete immobilisation you’re in. The tight feeling of having a layer over your body that acts as a shield from the outside world, and just the objectification sense of the situation per se. That day it was blue tape, which I only found out once I was out of it, and the way he managed to put me over a scaffolding-made table, and consequently immobilised me further taping my head, torso, waist and feet further into the scaffolding, literally allowing zero inch movement. I felt in heaven to be honest, it was something not comparable to anything else in the world. Just ecstasy of being disposed of like that. And it is in these moments when you get lost in your sub space and forget about the world outside, the worries, the deadlines, the problems… Everything takes a second place and you’re just there, making the most of it, also appreciating the Dom for getting you in that place. Experiences like these are what have kept me wanting more and more and helping me cope with all this fetish side of myself, as they are a sign that all of this is okay and has a purpose.
What means showing pictures of yourself in kinky situations (maybe on Instagram) to you?
For me showing kinky pictures of myself is a form of self-expression, as well as definitely helping me to become more self-confident with my own body. I like to share my experiences with other like-minded people, and what better way for all of us to enjoy, admire, and even inspire and get ideas for our own kinky fun. I think there’s a really beautiful aspect on that, though there’s also a really thin line where it all can turn very toxic, and only care about likes, followers, and lose yourself in the initial purpose of that sharing process. Now, I’m not saying it is wrong to focus on growing a follower mass and monetising kinky content and all, again to each his own, I’m just saying it’s not for me.
And so, as sharing content online has been more of a “for fun” process, I never thought about being exposed as a fetish until recently. I’ve discovered that I definitely would like to have public on a session where I’m subbing. I think the idea of knowing or maybe even hearing people I don’t know (or do) being present in the room and watching me without me seeing them, is kind of a turn on I’d like to explore. I actually have been approached by a few guys that would like that, so I guess it’s just a matter of time to experience it.
How are self-expression and living out fetish connected to each other in your point of view?
Self-expression is clearly a defining aspect of every kinky person. You are presenting yourself to the world, or sexual partners in this case, and doing it through the manifestation of whatever fetish you are into. I would convey self-expression and fetish and consider them quite a similar thing, because one can’t really live without the other, unless you’re not willing to act on your fetish, which then means you’re not really self-expressing yourself and that’s certainly a shame. Everyone should feel brave enough and accepted to experience whatever they like.
Marc, thanks for this Interview. Hope to meet you again on brighter days at darker places. 😉
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