Interview with kinkster Nighty
“It gave me a level of self-confidence that I would never have reached without starting pony play”
Published on 1 November 2020
Hello Nighty, thank you for giving an insight into pony play. What does it mean to you to be a pony? Please describe how you feel in such situations?
Being a pony completes my personality. I consider it as being a small vacation from myself and depending on the scenario I play, it can be either very relaxing or very erotic experience as there is quite a variety of play styles that I can do. The roles I take range from a more or less realistic horse role play where I am the proud animal that trains together with his owner in a respectful and partnership like relationship (doing dressage or cart pulling … stuff that you can also do with a real horse) up to more BDSM like scenarios where I am basically the human who gets kidnapped and humiliated by being treated as a horse with no rights. These different play styles cater different aspects of my kinks and can range from a proud and graceful expression to one of total humiliation. It’s a big bonus that being a horse allows me to combine a lot of my kinks into the respective play scenario as well.
And apart from pony play: which further fetishes do you have?
Hmm … there are a couple. Next to the obvious ones like pony play and rubber, I tend to have some of the more common kinky, like e.g. bondage (more leather and steel than ropes) and leather. Chastity play is another one of my main fetishes, although it’s something that mostly stays a fantasy as my daily life doesn’t really allow for extended chastity lock ups. Apart from that my kinks mostly evolve around outfits and materials. Riding gear is always great, I love the smell of rubber and leather and basically everything about being controlled and not in charge of the situation. I am not submissive though which makes me a bit more difficult to handle as I don’t give in that easily. I really enjoy the game of being broken and tamed which sometimes goes together with some humiliation, but that depends a lot on the play partner, situation and overall mood. I am still constantly exploring new stuff, when there is an occasion though I also made the experience that there is sometimes a big difference between a fetish in my fantasy and the reality which sometimes gets too uncomfortable too fast 🙂
When you think of fetish in general: what does living out your fetish mean to you?
I consider fetish to be an integral part of my personality and sexuality. Actually over the past years I found out for myself, that I am not very sexual in the sense of pure penetration, but a lot of my sexuality happens in my head and that involves a lot of kinky stuff. I can have great sex without even cumming if the right fetish is involved or I have a great fantasy in my head. At certain times, some kinks are more present than others. In the beginning I also felt a bit insecure about my fetishes but the more I got to know other kinksters and friendly people within the BDSM community the more I felt that there is no need to be ashamed of your kinks as long as they are not hurting other people (in a non-consensual way). Fetishes are something deeply erotic for me. They add towards my sexuality and give me that tingling feeling that puts some extra spice in every sexual encounter. It’s great to let my mind go and enjoy them in every possible way!
Can you remember how you discovered your fetish for the first time?
Not really. I think it evolved somewhere around my puberty. I always found the mix of human and animal interesting. Anthropomorphic creatures like e.g. werewolves or the Minotaur fascinated me during that time and I didn’t know about the furry community back then. So once the internet showed me some pictures of pony- and dog players, I was very interested in the whole play style. So yes, I blame the internet for making me a horse … well at least part-time horse.
Did you personally change, since you started living out your fetish?
I actually changed a lot since I started doing pony play. Before I did that, I was a very shy and held back person who was very insecure. I wasn’t very self-content and had a low self-esteem, also because I was overweight and didn’t consider myself to be a desirable person. Once I found the horse part of my personality and engaged in pony play, I noticed, that this role gave me a lot of motivation to do something about my situation and to change things for the better. I wanted to be a strong and elegant horse? So I started to work out and lose weight. This was a big success on my side and gave me a lot of confidence. Friends told me that they noticed me becoming much more open and self-confident which again helped me in other areas of my life. I stopped being afraid of thinking how other people would perceive me and that gave me a lot of inner freedom as I stopped worrying. I am still considerate of my environment in regard to kink (meaning I don’t brag around what I do) but being open about my kink whenever someone asked gave me a level of self-confidence that I would never reached without starting pony play.
How is your fetish connected to your sexuality?
I distinguish between sexuality and eros. For me, sexuality is something that is mostly about penetration and exchange of bodily fluids. Eros for me is that tingling feeling that causes you to be aroused, because you see, feel or smell something interesting. For me my fetishes are strongly connected to the latter. I can have wonderful erotic play sessions with a play partner without ever fucking or cumming. It’s more about the feelings and sensual impressions during a play that get me going. Sometimes I am not even getting hard during a nice play, but it does not make it less enjoyable for me. Therefore, my fetishes are an integral part of my sexuality.
Does your fetish take place in your every-day life?
Not really. I try to keep my kinks separated from my normal life. It’s two different worlds for me and I would not want to mix them up. Of course there are small things like me wearing a horse themed t-shirt from time to time, but else nope.
Which conflicts did you have during your fetish discovery?
Before I started with pony play, I was pretty held back and had a lot of prejudices about those strange fetish-people. As I grew up with people telling me that kink is something awkward or bad, I had a big issue with admitting to myself that I had certain kinks and even today it’s not easy for me to talk about some of them. So it took me a couple of years before I was finally able to get in touch with some people online just in order to find out that all my fears and prejudices I had been totally wrong. I have never met more open and reflected people, so I stood in my own way for years and I probably lost a lot of time and fun encounters due to that. Only because I was too afraid …
Please describe one of your best experiences you had concerning your fetish
Well, one of my best memories I have, was actually a quite exhausting one. It was during an exercise with my pony play trainer (and real life partner) where we tried to do some dressage. It is actually a bit hard to explain what exactly happened, but as submissive people know the sub-space, I managed to get into some kind of pony-space where my whole mind was purely focused on being the horse for my handler. We did a lot of lounging in preparation. I ran in circles for like 30 or 40 minutes before we started with the actual dressage lesson to warm me up. Back then I didn’t know that the plan of my trainer was to exhaust me until I would give up and that is basically what she did. We played for hours … practising gaits, rein commands and in between these mentally straining exercises I simply got chased in circles again to further exhausted me. After a while I simply existed and totally forgot who I was. Just trotted along, followed the commands and didn’t think any more (It’s hard for me to let my mind go). It was an extremely relaxing experience and it ended with me being completely sweaty and exhausted … but it felt sooooo good.
Nighty, thanks for this interview!
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“No shame, no judgement, no regrets.”
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