Interview with kinkster boy_on_the_grey_couch
“I appreciate fetish as an opportunity to create new images of myself, and to gain new experiences”
published on 05 November 2020
Hello, nice to have you here for this interview. What does fetish mean to you?
For me, fetish is mostly about the looks and experiencing new things, it’s about the discoveries I make when playing alone or together with someone else. I feel exited to wear rubber or other outfits and I like to take pictures of it. That often gets me sexually aroused too. It’s like being someone else for a while.
What kinds of fetishes do you have?
My fetish started with an interest in rubber clothing. When I had bought my first rubber suit, other things like ass play and bondage came along with it. When I expanded my rubber collection, new fetishes came in sight, such as breath play when buying a gas mask to match with my rubber outfit. Later on I discovered more things such as chastity, piss play, sounding, catheters, diapers, sportswear and zentai suits. Every time I met new people, I got the opportunity to try new things. I think the community should be more open to beginners who want to try different things. I’m trying to bare that in mind when I talk to people about my fetishes. Understanding comes through experience.
Can you describe situations when you discovered your fetish for the first time?
I discovered my fetish while looking on Tumblr and chatting with fetish guys on Grindr. I felt uncomfortable. When I first recognised that I have fetishes, I thought about keeping it to myself. Later on I discovered that there were more guys which have the same fetishes as I have. By talking about them at first, and later discovering them during play dates or buying gear, it became more normal to me. Back then there were a lot of people which I don’t want to know that I have them, and I still like to keep it that way. In the community I try to be more outgoing and share them with other people.
Did you as a person change over the years while living out your fetish?
At first, I liked it just to dress up in rubber for myself. I didn’t want to post pictures of it, because I felt a bit ashamed o fit. Just the year before covid kicked in, I started to go to small-scale fetish events and I really enjoyed it to go out and share them with the community. It took a while and some persuasion to get me this far, because at first I said to myself that my fetishes are something that I like to enjoy at home and privately. Thanks to online platforms such as Instagram and Recon I think I could enjoy fetishes even more together with other people. It’s still the best just to meet personally with people to really enjoy a good play. That hasn’t changed over the years. Now I have more experience. I also want to offer that to people who have recently discovered their fetishes and for example want to try rubber for the first time. I feel that I can be inspiring other people to live out their fetishes as well. For myself I’m also still looking for new things to try.
How is the relation of your fetish to your sexuality?
My fetishes are like a hobby to me. That means that I don’t feel like my fetishes are very attached to my sexuality. I appreciate fetish as an opportunity to create new images of myself, and to gain new experiences. I noticed that having fetishes makes dating more difficult, because people can react very differently when I tell it to them. Sometimes I keep my fetishes for myself when dating someone, other times I feel comfortable enough to introduce them to a guy I‘m seeing. When I fall in love with someone who doesn’t like the fact that I have fetishes, I have said before that I would consider selling most of my gear.
Does your fetish take place, apart from the sexual level, in your everyday-life?
I sometimes experiment with wearing a chastity device for a couple of days, or putting on a diaper and inserting a catheter for a couple of hours during work. I’m not wearing gear 24/7, although my grey couch, which is inextricable attached to my image as a fetish person, is in my living room. But it’s a nice discrete reminder. I like to take and edit my grey couch pictures. The process of editing them without wearing any gear is also part of my fetish hobby for me, and I can spend a lot of time doing that.
What kind of conflicts did or do you have, during your fetish discovery?
To explore fetishes is a risk, for example when you don’t like something when you are in bondage, then you have no choice, but to deal with it. My discoveries taught me to always play safe and with trust. It can be quite scary sometimes to meet up with older and more experienced people because you don’t know how they are used to treat someone. I was once strapped in rubber bondage and had some breath play with poppers. They were so strong that I was thinking that I would pass out. I could not tell the Dom, because I had a mask on. Luckily that didn’t happen, but it showed me that playing without any consensus is a very bad idea. Most people of my own age back then didn’t have the gear to let me try stuff, and many others had rejected me because I haven’t owned any. This also made me realise that it would be nice for young people to try things before buying their own gear. I sometimes meet with other guys around the same age who just want to try stuff in a relaxed way. I try to accommodate that.
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“No shame, no judgement, no regrets.”
I talked to Marcbound about strict bondage, early kinky experiences and favourite session noises
Kink in mainstream culture
I. Movies and series
Skin tight full suits, kidnapping, shackles in prison; kinksters see more than others do in those scenes: this text is about how characters are shown in mainstream movies and series, which can be seen as kinky and why they often appear as hero, antihero, and villain
(auch auf Deutsch 🇩🇪)