Double-interview with kinksters Matteo (rigger) and Matt (rope model)
Taking and giving up control, feeling freedom in bonds, and rope work between aesthetic, sensation and excitement
published on 09 December 2020
In this interview I talk to two persons at the same time: to Matteo, a rigger, who ties up persons, and to Matt, a rope model. So hello Matteo, hello Matt, nice to have you both here for this interview.
Let’s start with the rigger: Matteo, what means fetish and kink to you?
Matteo (rigger): I’ll have to start probably saying that I’m a very easily bored person. I love to discover new things and to experiment. My kink journey started when I was really young, I discovered some pictures and videos about bondage on the internet and I immediately felt attracted to it. Of course at the time ropes was not something I really put effort in, I bought some handcuffs and some synthetic ropes and my journey started there. Only recently I discoverd shibari, it was an amazing find and I immediately started practicing. Until then for me ropes was a tool to immobilize someone and then play with them, it turned out that ropes can be a lot more. I can,’t exactly explain why but I really enjoy the situation that shibari in particular can create, I really enjoy the responsibility of caring for another person that in return offers “all” his control to me knowing that it’s safe to let himself go. Plus you can achieve some really cool knots with a little bit of practice.
Of course communication is essential but you know the drill. About what fetish means to me I don’t really know the answer, I’m still in the process of discovering myself, but for now I can say that having a broad mentality about what the sexual sphere can offer led me to discover a lot of amazing kinks, and of course to get to know a lot of like minded people to explore this aspects.
Which different fetishes and kinks do you have?
Matteo (rigger): The list of my kinks is a work in progress and I think that will never reach completion, as I said I always try to explore new kinds of situations. Thinking about my main interests tho comes to my mind ropes and bondage of course, feet, tickling, cum control and light cbt.
Matt, what does being in bondage mean to you as a rope model?
Matt (rope model): For me, in most cases, it is like travelling deep into myself. Through it I find serenity and strength. It is like a meditation. A lot depends on the connection between me and the rigger and what we want to reach. Shibari bondage can have different aspects. It can be purely artistic work where my body is assuming a form decided by the rigger that transforms my body into a piece of art. It is very inspiring. For me shibari can go above that kind of artistic creation. It can go into a very intense dom/sub dimension.
For some rope models it’s about relaxation (like yoga) for others it’s about excitement (like bungee jumping) and for others it’s about a sexual dimension (dom/sub). How do you see that?
Matt (rope model): It can be all of that, like a long series of changing emotions. It can be even very challenging when the purpose is to exceed my limits.
I personally like the contrast of being tied up and unable to move on the one hand and feeling freedom on the other hand!
Matt (rope model): I definitely feel free when I am tied up. For people who do not have this experience it can sound weird. But ropes isolate you from everything. I enter a specific space, a specific mood. I am far from my sorrows, far from any obligations. My mind is free. I am beyond everything. I feel close to the universe and happy.
Matteo, when you as a rigger tie up someone with ropes: Are you domming that person in such a situation or is rigging someone independent from sexual roles for you?
Matteo (rigger): It depends. I really enjoy teasing who I tie, I personally enjoy a little bit of struggle and tough positions, I love seeing the reactions that I can get. Usually I talk to whoever I have to tie to know what we can do and try together, if the other person is only interested in ropes it’s only ropes, if it’s intrested in other things in addition to ropes I’ll gladly offer an hand to satisfy all kind of fantasies.
How is the relation of your fetish to your sexuality? Does bondage play has something to do with sex for you?
Matteo (rigger): I don’t consider myself as a very sexual person vanilla wise. I enjoy way more BDSM sessions. Of course it happens that I feel attracted to someone and the other way around and we try different things but usually I separate the two things, except a little bit of teasing that I always enjoy if the other person is intrested. So I can easily say that my kinks come before vanilla sex in my case, as I enjoy those situations way more. I see ropes as a different way to play, than normal sex, so of course I see them as a sexual “game”. Of course it depends of who I tied but I enjoy the sexual aspect of it.
Matt, to which extend is this all sexual for you? Does it has something to do with gay sexual things?
Matt (rope model): It can be sexual, it can be completely asexual. It depends on the partner I am with.
Can you tell me what you like about bondage positions which broaden you limits?
Matt (rope model): Some shibari suspensions with long sequence of transitions can be difficult both for the rigger and the rope bottom. In some hard moments I doubt, if I still can make it, but then I calm my breath I relax my mind and I find the way to go through it. I go beyond my limits. This makes me proud of myself. This is done only through good connection between the rigger and me, thanks to trust and good communication. Sometimes some knots need to be corrected, placement of ropes need to be adjusted to not compromise the nerves. Going beyond limits does not mean to go against safety rules.
Matteo, which different „positions“ in rope bondage do you like most?
Matteo (rigger): This is an easy question but probably the answer won’t be that satysfing. I don’ really have favorite positions that I like to recreate when I tie, I decide every time what I want to try and ask for suggestions if the person I’m tying has some. Of course the positions are always thought with the person I have to tie in mind.
Which safety aspects are most important for you when you do rope bondage play?
Matteo (rigger): First thing I think it’s a best practice is to talk to the person you are planning to meet and tie and get to know them. I think that doing this can help you to realize what the other person like, what doesn’t like, what are their limits, maybe they have healt issue etc, who knows. During a session I’m always super careful of where I tie, how I tie, and I try to always ask for feedbacks. If something is uncomfortable I try to fix the problem so that the person tied can enjoy the situation at it’s fullest. Feedbacks can also improve my rigging skills. I only do floor works for now so the risk it’s lower than suspensions, but I think it’s best to always be prepared for the worst situation, for that I always bring safety scissors with me.
Can you describe situations and how you felt, when you discovered your love for rigging for the first time?
Matteo (rigger): If we consider my first time tying someone after discovering shibari as my first time I don’t really remember that well. I know it can sound strange but I remember I was really excited to try this new amazing technics that I just found out that the main aspect of the session shifted from let’s enjoy some ropes together to let’s try some knots. I guess I didn’t really enjoyed it if I can’t remember well. Now it’s different, I enjoy ropes as a mean to connect with the person I’m tying, I like the power game that can create, I love seeing how my ropes can bind someone and seeing him struggle or enjoy the constriction that I created. I guess that I really like seeing that using something as simple as a rope you can really achieve a lot of different outcomes that can be easily adapted to every person.
Matt, can you describe situations and how you felt, when you discovered your love for being tied up for the first time?
Matt (rope model): Some years ago I did a test on bdsm. My first result with 100% match was a rope bunny. At that time I even did not know what it meant. I started to do a research. I found my first rigger. My first rope date lasted for 3 days. I remember the feeling I had when I was looking at the ropes and the excitement I felt when touching them. My body was trembling. I knew that shibari was something for me.
Which further experiences you would like to have in the future?
Matt (rope model): I want to try to be tied by a girl even if I am gay. Just to understand what impression it will give me. Apart from that, I would like to be tied by more than one rigger at the same time, to get the feeling of being exposed.
Matteo and Matt, thanks for this interview!
hanks for reading my blog
If you want to support my work,
you can do this with 1 €/$/£
by making a Paypal donation,
or “buying me a coffee”
Thank you 🙂
“I’m often happiest when tied up and left for a while to just ‘be’”
Coyote talks about what submission and serving a Dom means to him, and explains, what he likes about rope bondage
Kink in mainstream culture
I. Movies and series
Skin tight full suits, kidnapping, shackles in prison; kinksters see more than others do in those scenes: this text is about how characters are shown in mainstream movies and series, which can be seen as kinky and why they often appear as hero, antihero, and villain
(auch auf Deutsch 🇩🇪)
“Being myself with no shame
and screaming it out loud”
Dreamer95 talks about the importance of having and living one’s dreams, dealing with fetish towards family, and about what fetish personally means to him